Past Passages
by GracedWithDemons
Summary: After being getting kicked out of the Vampire Hunter Academy and moved from bad foster home to bad foster home all she wants is an escape...from herself.
1. Chapter 1

"YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP!" I hear my new foster father yell at new foster mother from downstairs.  
"DON'T YOU TALK TO ME LIKE THAT!" Mom yells back, "WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?!"  
"THE FUCKING MAN AROUND HERE, THAT'S WHO!"  
"OH, YEAH RIGHT! THAT MIGHT WORK WITH YOUR LITTLE WHORES BRANDON, BUT NOT HERE! HERE YOU'RE NOTHING! DO YOU HEAR ME? NOTHING!"  
They've fought like this every night since I arrived here a week ago. The first day they fought over me, who's job it was to take me to school, then over the bills, then who was the real bread winner in the house, then who wore the pants in the relationship (a fight that I didn't stick to see who the winner was after I heard what sounded like the beginning of rough sex), and now they're fighting because Zoe, my foster mom, found lipstick stains all over Brandon's underwear.  
Really though, Zoe should have expected this. No Publix bag boy works shifts at 2am and since when was it normal to go lingerie shopping for your mom?  
"AT LEAST SARAH KNOWS HOW TO TREAT A MAN!"  
"OH NOT THIS AGAIN!" Zoe yells exasperatedly.  
"YES, THIS AGAIN! YOU DONT-" Brandon starts but Zoe cuts him off in a mimicking voice.  
"'YOU DONT PAY ATTENTION TO ME ANYMORE!' 'YOU DONT LISTEN TO WHAT I HAVE TO SAY!' 'YOU DON'T MAKE LOVE TO ME LIKE YOU USED TO!' OH GROW THE FUCK UP BRANDON! THIS ISNT YOU'RE MOTHER'S HOUSE ANYMORE! OF YOU WANNA BE A MAN THAT GRO A FUCKING PAIR AND START ACTING LIKE ONE!"  
The sound of a door slamming.  
Glass shatters.  
Silence floats up from downstairs and for a second I panic. Did Brandon finally succeed in killing Zoe? Am I next?  
But then Zoe speaks again. "Good job, dumbass. You killed the girl's fish. Now pick them up before she comes down here and sees 'em."  
Oh... Oh well, I never liked goldfish anyway.  
After that the yelling catches up again but I'm not listening.  
I need an escape. I hate this crappy town and all the crappy people in it. I hate this crappy 'family'. I wish I still had my books, the only form escape I had in this world. But stupid Brandon tore them up in one of his fits, yelling at me that books don't make you smart, that they don't help for shit. But, God, if I just had one book right now, I don't even care what kind of book...  
Oh wait, I do have one!  
Bending down, I grab my backpack from the floor and fish through it for the book my best friend gave me for my birthday yesterday. Even through all this mess, my best friend has still managed to be there for me.  
I open the book to the first page and begin reading.

School is a bitch. I don't know why I have to keep going to that hell hole. The teachers are all assholes, the students are even bigger assholes, the whole place us run down, and the bathroom always smell like shit and piss.  
_You're not supposed to like it_, my caseworker tells me, _you're going to gain social skills._  
Bullshit! Why should someone like me have to put up with this shit anyway!? I'm a vampire hunter for fuck sake! I don't need social skills, I need a new steel stake! Damn it!  
Rage grips me like a flames licking up my body and I went from angrily speed-walking down the sidewalk to punching my fist through an abandoned building's window. Only the feeling of blood trickling between my knuckles and down my fingers alerted me to what I'd just done.  
Damn it.  
_We need to work on your anger issues too,_ I hear my caseworker say in my head.  
At that same moment, I felt the familiar feeling of the hairs on the back of my neck rising and mentally cheered. YES! This is just what I needed tonight! I reach for my stake strapped to my thigh and...  
Fuck, I forgot my damned caseworker confiscated it! Wait, the broken glass! I guess my anger issues are good for something, huh?  
Picking up the biggest, sharpest chard I can find and turn to face my enemy and find him already rushing toward me.  
"Oh, bring it on bloodsucker!" I yell just as he reaches me.  
I duck when he makes a claw at my face and catch him under the jaw with an uppercut. He stumbles and I use the opportunity to sweep kick his feet out from under him. He falls but is back on his feet a second later.  
Damn vampire speed.  
Again, he rushes at me, blood red eyes blazing, fangs out, and brownish yellow venom dribbling from his lips. He hisses at me and when I get a whiff of that vampire breath...  
Phew!  
I instinctively move to cover my nose but he grabs my wrist. He has about a good 2 feet of height and about 150 pounds more than me and easily lifts me up and slams me against the building. The wind gets knocked out of me and I almost drop the shard of glass in my free hand.  
Almost. I lift it high and although my arms are too short for me to slice his neck with it in this position, or even scratch his face, they're still long enough for me to give a good throw. And throw I do.  
The throw is good and I manage to embed the glass deed into his jugular. He goes down choking.  
And three more vampire pop up hissing.  
I grab two more pieces of glass. "Go ahead, vamps, make my night."


	2. Chapter 2

"Selene!" calls a voice from behind me as I decapitated my second vampire for the night.

Looking up I see Josiah, the owner of the voice that haunts my nightmares, perched on the edge of the roof of the building across the street.

"Go away, Josiah." I say as I dodge one vampire while the second makes a swipe at my face. The vampires nails get me right below my left eyes. "I don't need your help."

"Oh really?" Josiah jumps down from the roof of the building, about a good three stories, and casually walks towards where I'm standing fighting the last two vampires. "'Cause it looks like you do."

He pulls a dagger from the hunting belt around his waist and swiftly throws it at the vampire I'm fighting. It slices him straight through the top of his head and he falls. When I turn to the last vampire I see Josiah already smashing it's head into the side of the wall.

I release an aggravated sigh and wait for him to finish. When he's done I straightens to his full height and rolls his shoulders back. Even in the dim light of the moon I can see the way his muscle ripple beneath his sleeveless under armor.

Damn him and his body that features in my dreams, although I'd never admit that.

Josiah turns and smiles his beautiful, cocky smile at me as if he knows I was watching him flex. I just scowl and continue walking the way I was going before those vampires attacked.

Josiah catches up easily. "What? No 'thank you'?"

"No but how's about a 'fuck you' instead?"

"I always knew you wanted me." He smirked and put his arm around me.

"I said go..._away_!" I grab at his arm and try to flip him but he sees it coming and and grabs my wrist and twists it behind my back. Then he wraps his free arm around my waist pulls me close to him.

"Why do you have to be so difficult Selene?" he whispers into my ear. "It doesn't have to be like this. We could be good together. Just give us a chance." His hand finds it's way to my thigh, which he grips.

"Maybe three months ago I would've considered it." I say right before I kick him in the knee. He avoids the kick but gives me the space I need to escape in the process. "But now, you're not even a blimp on my radar."

Josiah groans. "You're still mad about that-"

"Yes I'm still mad!" I yelled at him. "You had me discharged form the unit! I lose my rank and my vest because of you. I was put on one-year suspension. I was out in the freaking system like some orphan because of you. Do you know how many foster homes I've been through in the past three months since you had me suspended from the Hunter Academy? Seven. Seven half-ass homes, Josiah."

Josiah just shrugs and rolls his sea green eyes. "Well, maybe if you weren't so angry all the fucking time people wouldn't be afraid to have you around."

"You're saying this is my fault? It's my fault _you_ decided to report _me_ to the Supers, claiming that my 'lack of social skills and temperament are a threat to the way the Unit acts as a team'?"

"No, that was all me. What I'm saying is that maybe if you fixed your attitude you wouldn't be moved so much."

I shake my head in disgust. "You're a real asshole, you know that." I say and continue walking.

"Oh, come on Selene, you have to know I did it for you."

"For me?" I turn on him again, stopping him just as he moved to follow me. "Josiah, in what universe does you ruining up my record help me?What? Were you mad? Jealous that the Supers thought I was a better unit leader than you were? Were you jealous that I beat your kill streak in the simulation room?"

"What? No!" Josiah runs both his hands through his hair angrily. "God, Selene, I swear sometimes you're just so..._dense!_"

"What are you-" I start but in a second Josiah has me backed up against a wall.

"The VHA ain't all it's cracked up to be, Selene." He says in my face. "I know all the fame and praise that comes with being number one is great but then they start expecting things from you. They start using you, sending you on secret hunting missions and some of the things you hunt aren't vamps, ok? Ever wonder why I kept coming home with bruise, cuts, broken bones? There are things out there that make the vamps we kill look like new born pups, Selene. And they expect you to kill them, hordes of them, _by yoursel_f! I didn't ruin you, Selene. I _saved_ you. Remember that next time your throwing your darts at my picture on your wall."

With that he pushes away from me and flashes away, leaving me wondering what type of creature he had to fight and how he knows about his picture on my wall.

~~~

That night when I get 'home' I saw my newest foster mother Michelle throwing her latest fiancé's bags out the front door. Her fiancé, or in guess ex now, Kevin, is standing out in the yard trying to catch all the clothes she's throwing out and calm her at the same time.

"Come on, baby." Kevin is saying, "you know I didn't mean that. Let's just put this behind us."

"You said my toes were fat!" Michelle yells at him. "You just don't forget something like that!"

I groan at their stupidity and walk passed them to the front door. Kevin calls out to me to help him but I ignore him. It's no longer my job to save humankind.

Since I no longer have a job or friends in this mundane life, I busy my self with homework and this thing I heard girls at my new school raving about called the 'blog'. Apparently, some kid named Joseph said some vicious comment about one of them on it.

After about an hour searching through what I now know as 'blogs', as in more than one, I decide to write im my journal. I've never kept a journal before but since I got suspended I've had a lot of time on my ja ds and little things to fill it with. Vampire hunting is my life. I don't know anything else. Im not totally familiar with electronics, I don't know any music, and tv really isn't my thing with its cheesy sitcoms and ads every ten minutes. So instead I had 'Mommy Michelle' go out and buy me a journal. NOT A DIARY. A journal.

Halfway through my entry for the day, I hear sobbing coming from Michelle's room. I check the clock at see that is just after midnight. It's been hours since she kicked Kevin to the curb and she usually gets over men quickly.

_'Valium and ice become your best friend after a break up.'_ she told me the first time I saw her kick some guy to the curb.

When I get into her room I see her sitting up in bed with a glass of white wine in her hands and watching a Spanish soap opera while sobbing violently into a napkin. Seeing she's not hurt I turn to leave but just as I'm making my way out she calls me.

"Oh, Selene, dear! Come give Mama a hug. She needs some comfort." I groan but comply and join her on the bed. She puts an arm around my shoulders and starts rubbing my arm. "Why cant I ever find a good man?"

I stay silent.

"There's always something wrong with them." she continues. "They're too short. They snort. They breath too deeply. They chew to loud. One eye is more blue than they other. I mean, just ONCE I want o mean a man who lives up to my standards. I deserve that, right Selene?"

Still I stay silent.

"Do you think maybe its me?" she ask.

"Do you really wanna know what I think?" I ask her.

She nods. "Oh, yes Selene. Please tell me what you think."

"I think you're a materialistic, self-centered bitch with standards you're not even worthy of."

Michelle stars at me for a few moments. Then the bitch kicks me out.


	3. Chapter 3

"Calling your foster mother a materialistic, self-centered bitch is _exactly_ what I meant about having a bad attitude." Says Josiah, who for some reason insisted on coming with me on the ride to my next foster home.

"He's right, Selene." Says my caseworker and I almost punch her in the face.

I did not want to hear that Josiah is right. What I wanted was for him to go away.

"It's comments like that that make people want to leave you." Josiah says.

I turn in my seat to face him sitting next to me and said in my most serious voice, "You are a materialistic, self-centered bitch."

Josiah makes a surprised face and places and hand over his heart, and then he smiles and says, "If we weren't such good friends I might have taken you seriously."

I roll my eyes.

~~~

My new foster parent are an old couple in their late 50s. As soon as I lay my eyes on them I know how I'm gonna get kicked out of here. The woman looks at me as if I'm her long lost daughter coming home after a long disappearance and the old man leers at me like I'm a brand new set of dentures made especially for him. I nearly throw up at the sight of him.

Josiah notices the man's leering and leans down to whisper in my ear, "He's still just an old man. He can't do anything to you. Don't do anything too rash."

I nod and approach my new 'family' who greet me with big hug, and in the old man's case, a firm grip on the ass. I groan inwardly but try to ignore it.

The first day at my new foster home passes with out incident and at night after the old geezers were asleep, Josiah comes by to check in on me.

"Don't you have anything better to do?" I ask him when I catch him trying to sneak in my window.

"Well," he says as he makes his way to his picture on my wall and starts pulling out all the darts, "now that I've reclaimed my rightful place as number one under the Supers, yes. I'm absolutely up to my neck in work. But don't worry babe, you're always top priority."

I ignore the last part of what he said and instead focus on what came just before. "Josiah, what did you mean the other night when you said that they'd make you go on secret hunting missions? To kill what? Why is it a secret?"

Josiah sighs. "Selene, there are some thing's that just..." he trails off, placing the last of the darts on my dresser. He looks around like he was considering telling me something pressing, something that obviously held a lot of weight on his shoulders. "I swear I did this to protect you, Selene. There are things out there that... That you just can't unsee. Things that- that are just not human. Vampire, however evil, are still human. Werewolves, too. But those things... Those things are _demons_. Created straight from the devil's hands. They have no conscious and they're so, so very hungry for blood, for human flesh. And they have powers too. I'm not talking about powers like ours; the super speed and strength. They can make darkness with their words and cause a person to hallucinate with one scratch. These things are dangerous, Selene. And they're real."

When Josiah talks like this, with such seriousness and concern, it's easy for me to remember how close we used to be and what attracted me to him in the first place. It was the gentleness and eloquence with which he spoke and the sureness that made if possible for you to never wonder if what he said was the truth or not. Josiah never lied. For all his faults, Josiah is never dishonest. Never.

"I have to go." he says suddenly and heads for the window.

"What? Where?" I ask, standing to go after him. "Where are you going?" I'm actually legitimately afraid for Josiah. I don't want him going out and fighting those creatures he told me about. I may hate him for what he did to me but I don't want him dead.

"I'll come see you first change I get." he says before disappearing.

~~~

I don't see Josiah for weeks after that and if I'm being honest with myself, I'm a little worried. At first he left little notes on my nightstand to see in the morning, nothing special, just telling me that he's ok and keeping me updated on what was going on. He never divulged the happenings of his missions but he made sure to tell me whether or not he succeeded and was ok. Now the notes are coming less and less. The first day I woke up with no note on my nightstand I had a nightmare that Josiah was killed and brought to my doorstep in pieces.

And on top of all my worrying for Josiah is my growing hatred for the old man. He works different and shorter hours than the woman so he's home more often and therefore I have to spend the majority of the afternoon with him. He uses this time with me to flirt blatantly, try to grope my ass whenever I pass by him (which he makes happen often), and openly stare. I just grind my teeth and deal with it. He's just an old man and I won't be putting up with this for long.

~~~

That night I lay in bed drifting in and out of sleep. Then I start to dream. I dream that Josiah comes to visit me but unlike during any of his other visits, he doesn't talk. He just sit at the foot of my bed and stares at me. It's dark with the only thing illuminating the room being the moonlight coming in through the window.  
Josiah stares at me for a long time and I stare right back. Then he places his hand on my leg. When I don't pull away he slides his hand higher and higher still.

Then he start climbing onto the bed and on top of me, still trailing a hand up my body. I reach for him, wishing that this wasn't a dream, that I could actually touch Josiah Ike this without any strings attached and feeling like I've betrayed myself by sleeping with the enemy.

I wrap my hands around Josiah's neck and pull him down to kiss him like I've always wanted to. He licks at my bottom lip and I let him in. We both moan as our tongues collide. I feel his hand move under my thin pajama shirt. His hand moves up and up and pauses right before reaching my breast, as if asking permission. I nod against his kiss and then his hand is on my breast, squeezing lightly and teasing my nipple. My breathing hitches and I arch up into his touch.

Josiah groans. He knees my legs apart and lowers him self between them. I can feel his bulge on me through his cargo pants and my cotton shorts. He lightly grinds against me, causing me to arch more into him and causing himself to release a slow hiss.

Suddenly, he knees and begins unfastening his empty weapons belt around his waist and unzipping his pants. He holds eye contact with me the entire time but I don't tell him to stop. I'm too mesmerized by the way his beautiful eyes shine in the moonlight and all the love and lust I see in them for me. It makes me feel proud knowing a guy like Josiah could be interested in a girl like me. My body is ok, toned because of all the training done at the academy, but I lack any significant features. I have long dark hair and dark eyes but plain nose and lips, no birth marks or anything of the like to add significance to mw. Unlike Josiah, who has the most adorable little birthmark right below his ear.

Once Josiah's got his pants down he climbs back on top of me. His hands find the waistband of my shorts and he slowly pulls them down. He takes a moment to look at me like I'm the most precious thing to him. Then he crushes his lips to mine and starts lowering himself into me. The size of him comes as a surprise to me and I shout out. This isn't my first time but it has been a long time since my last, and that guy was nothing compared to Josiah.

Josiah places a and over my mouth to stifle it. "Just relax, Selene." he whispers, "I won't hurt you."  
And that's how I know this is a dream. In reality, Josiah has already hurt me and continues to hurt me. When we were friends and partners at the academy, I felt so close to him, I told him everything, and though I never told him, I did love him. But then he betrayed me. And I'm reminded of that fact every time I see him. Only in my dreams can I have Josiah the way I wanted to.

Josiah continues to feed himself into me, shushing me and murmuring sweet things into my ear. When he's fully buried himself inside me he pauses, letting me get use to the size of him. When I nod that I'm ready he starts wiggling. I love the way he feels inside of me, silky and hard at the same time.

"You're so tight, Selene." he whispers. Then he slowly begins to thrust.

Already I feel my self on the edge. My hands find his hips and I grip him, fingernails digging into the skin there as I try to hang on for him.

"Josiah..." I whisper, my voice coming out way too breathy for my taste.

"Shh. It's ok." he says, "It's ok. You can let go."

Then I do and it's the biggest, most powerful climax I've ever had. As he keeps thrusting, I keep coming. And just when I think I'm done, he makes me come again. Josiah follows just a few seconds after me. I feel his warmth spilling into me and grip him, wanting this moment with him to last forever.

When we're both spent, he doesn't pull out. He just flips us so that I'm laying on top of him and nuzzles my neck. He starts softly singing a song in a language I can't identify and the soft vibrations of it in his hard chest below me work like a gentle rocking and soon I can no longer keep my eyes open.  
Just before I fall asleep I feel him run his fingers through my hair. "This is how good we can be, Selene, if you'd just let it happen."

And for once I decide to be honest with him. "I want to, Josiah." I whisper into his shoulder. "I want to so bad, but I just can't. Not after what you did to me."

~~~

When I wake up I'm a little sad to see that Josiah isn't actually with me. Of course I know past night was a dream but still, I don't think I would've minded so much if it had turned out to be real.

Oh who am I kidding. If I had woken up to find that bastard in my bed I would've kicked his ass. No way I would just forget about what he did to me and welcome him back with open arms and if he thinks that's what's gonna happen then he's got another thing coming!


End file.
